1st Day at home...

We have another terrific sleeper... so far!

Over the last 24ish hours, we have begun to earn Jayna's trust. What we experienced on the first night with her has repeated itself over a few times. Her stoneface appeared once again on the flight home - we were giggling with her and having a good ol' time on the plane, but as soon as the wheels touched down, she immediately went stonefaced again, probably remembering that as the thing that happened just before Lily (the one who escorted her from Haiti) had to leave. It crushes your heart a bit to see a little heart already becoming so calloused, but that kinda fuels us to prove to her that we aren't just another adult in her life who she has to leave behind. Her stoneface didn't leave until we were almost 1/2 way to Medicine Hat, when amanda's mom was paying peek-a-boo with her and cracked the smile. Jayna literally goes from looking like a disgruntled youth to a 2 year old... and the whole room lights up with her smiles and belly laugh.

Once we got home, we started getting her ready for bed and Ethan and Nyla were able to interact with her a little more... really, they just wanna tickle her. i don't blame them, its quick, easy and gets some pleasing results, however, they received the troubled youth glare as they tried to steal a giggle from her, and that all ended quickly. Stoneface emerged again, from playing and giggling with her before bed to setting her down in the pack and play, she went numb... not even willing to look at either of us, and simply just being angry, and kinda heart-broken - "i thought you loved me" was the kind of energy that filled that little crib... not willing to lose this battle for her trust, Amanda and i took our places at either side of her and didn't leave until she fell asleep... we were tired. Amanda was especially cooked and still hadn't really been able to rest since her surgery.

This morning was great to be able to simply rest and get our heads around this whole ordeal - over a latte. mmmmm. anyways, Jayna was ready to put on the boots and walk the kids to school with me, but we thought it best for her to skip the -20c days for a week or so. Today was a great time for her and amanda to hang out. Some great bonding has happened - she's sharing some food with Amanda and I, she began learning some english words like"boot", and we didn't see stoneface much. She got a little sketchy at the Dr.'s office, but turned to hug me instead of just going blank, and as the day went, very few situations seemed to get her rattled. She loved the bathtub, and a tiny purse from her cousin was also a big hit. She is a lot like ethan, enjoying to organize things, like taking all the darts out of his nerf machine gun and then replacing them and doing it all over again. when she was done, she put the gun right back in its place... (no, we're not running some kind of child soldier camp). She doesn't like to have crumbs on her pants, and she is very independent. Tonight she allowed me to put her pajama pants on, but was bound and determined to put her own shirt on... it was a good try.

It seems as though we received a 6 month old on Wednesday night and each 6 hours, she has aged another few months... today we saw an 18 month old child and she's steadly "growing" with us. what a crazy journey this is... like a beautiful walk through an unknown forest - so new, a little scary and very very cool. each moment we see something new - a new word, expression, gesture and emotion - and its fantastic.

Today tapped her out... she was on the edge of meltdown around 6pm - a little too much going on today, we're planning to lay low tomorrow, for everyones sake.

FYI - our plan is to help her learn that amanda and i are hers. She gets food only from our hands. She gets hugs and kisses only from us. She gets picked up only by us. This first month at least is so critical for this bond to be established that WE ARE HER PARENTS. so if you see us together, by all means, come and say hi, but do not be offended if you don't get to hold her or feed her... its not you, its us. We have been battling for her life for the last few years and now we actually have to step up our efforts to make this a lasting bond.

Jayna has been well taken care of in her orphanage - loved obviously and nurtured - the development of our relationship has revealed that this was not a factory style orphanage, where kids get a place to stay only - Reach out to Haiti is a fantastic organization that truly cares about people. if you are looking to give financial support to an organization working on the ground in Haiti within its community - this is one of them.

Grace and Peace.
jake and amanda