8 months already?

I have to apologize at the lack of "blogging" we have done.  As you can tell neither Jeremy or I are "bloggers".  I have had a few requests to update everyone on how Jayna is doing and decided that tonight was the night.
It is hard to believe that it has been a little over 8 months that Jayna has been home with us.  In some ways it feels like it has gone so fast and in other ways it honestly feels like she has been here all along.  She is an amazing little girl and has adjusted so well.  She doesn't miss a thing.  She copies everything Nyla says and does.  It is almost like having an echo in the house.  If Nyla wants a snack, Jayna wants a snack.  If Nyla tells us about painting at school, Jayna tells us about her painting at "school".  If Nyla has to go to the bathroom, Jayna has to... well you get the idea.  Jayna and I are enjoying our days together while the kids are at school.  I don't return to work until January so I am trying to get as much time in with her as I can.  She is a great little helper and loves to have a job to do.  She is very focused when given a task, today she washed the kitchen floor for a good 1/2 hour.  One of her favorite things to do right now is be out in the garage with Daddy and play with the sawdust and pick up wood pieces.  She plays really well on her own but is incredibly social as well.  She really enjoys being around people and is very excited when I tell her to get her shoes on because we are going "out".
Her english is amazing.  Within the last 2 months she has reached the point where she can pretty much always find a word to use to say what she wants or what she is thinking.  It is wonderful to sit and have her"read" a book to me or just let her tell me stories she comes up with (which usually involves whatever she happens to see around her at the moment).  To progress from pointing and reading body language to being able to have a conversation with her is amazing. She is such a smart little girl.  She reminds me of Ethan in that she always has to figure out how something works.
She loves to sing, and she can dance.  She has great moves.  Puts the rest of us to shame really.  She loves to stand in front of the mirror in our living room and sing away.  I have a feeling they did a lot of that down in Haiti.
She loves to wear dresses.  Almost everyday she asks if she can wear her "favorite dress".  Which is a different dress each day.  So to everyone who bought her a dress please know that they are loved and well used.  Jayna and Nyla love to match when they can.  They really are great friends.  They play together great and run to hug each other almost everyday after school.  Nyla loves taking Jayna to school.  One day they were playing in the back yard "painting" the playhouse with sidewalk chalk.  I guess at some point Nyla discovered that it was more fun the "paint" Jayna.  She was "white like Nyla".  I will try to include a picture of this if I can.
They are now sharing a room together and sleep in the awesome bunk bed their Daddy made for them.  (My husband is truly amazing by the way!).  Jayna had no problem transitioning from our room to sharing with Nyla.  For the first 5 months she was with us she would wake at night whimpering.  All she would need is to hear our voices and she would go back to sleep.  I think she has gotten to the point where she is comfortable here, and knows that we are not leaving and she is not leaving because she doesn't "whimper" anymore.  It is actually pretty rare that she wakes up during the night at all anymore.
She is a great "eater".  She will eat almost anything now, but it is done in almost slow motion.  She is always the last one eating which is complete opposite of Ethan.  Supper consists of us telling Ethan to slow down and reminding Jayna that she needs to finish tonight sometime.
It is such a gift to have Jayna here with us.  All the firsts are so fun.  Being able to make her a cake this year for her birthday that she actually got to eat was amazing!  Summer holidays out in B.C. this summer were wonderful.  She really enjoyed getting to know her cousins better and is constantly asking when she gets to see them again.  We tell her she will get to see them at Christmas and now she likes to tell us that it is "Christmas time".  It's funny because she has no idea what this means... another first I am really looking forward to.
I guess one of the biggest struggles was potty training.  Knowing that she was smart enough to figure it out but just choosing not to was a little frustrating.  I'm pretty sure we tried everything...I think I could write a book.  I think it was something that she had control of in a world where she had lost control of everything else.  It was just a matter of waiting until she was ready.  She is happily wearing panties now and proud to be a "big girl".
Jayna has a photo album that we made her of her life in Haiti, the night we met her and brought her home and her life here.  She loves to sit and go through the pictures over and over again and comment on them all.  There is one picture of Jeremy holding her the night we met her after we were back in the hotel room.  Her face looks a little frightened and she always comments saying "Jayna was scared of thunder" and the next picture is of her laughing and she says "I am brave now".  Thanks to lots of prayers our little girl is feeling "brave" and you can tell that she knows that she is loved.  We tell her that she is a treasure and that God has a special plan for her and I know she believes it.
There is so much more to tell you.  Maybe pictures will help.  I will get Jeremy to put some up within the next week or so.  Thank-you for all your prayers and support for our family.

Grace and Peace
Amanda and Jake

http://www.flickr.com/photos/48197558@N04/sets/72157624096046673/

Month 4 and counting...

Its really been four months - and it seems like Jayna has been here for years. She's working the tricycle pretty well, watching her older sister for cues as to what and how to act in different situations (sometimes thats good) and seems to have a decent grasp of the language. She definitely loves shoes, going for drives and simply being outside. She's a great little girl. Here's a few photos to update you visually...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/48197558@N04/?donelayout=1

Dedication location change.

Instead of meeting @ kin coulee, we are in room 8 in Hillcrest church. Hope to see you there!
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Dedication

Its time for us to dedicate Jayna - a reminder to us and our family and friends that she's a gift to us, like our other kids. We believe that God has the best plan in mind for her and our role as parents is to daily give our lives and our kids lives into his capable hands to guide her.

On saturday, May 22, we will have a ceremony to celebrate/ remember this and would love for those close to us to celebrate it with us! Its sposta be rainy and cold, so it might not happen at Kin Coulee, but we'll update the blog to keep everyone in the loop as to where the backup location is...

Grace and Peace
jeremy and amanda

Piecing together the words.

My family is awesome.

Today, it was time for daddy to take the kids on our first 3 : 1 outing. With amanda K.O.'d with a cold and running on little sleep, i decided she needed a solitary place to rest and not have to care for anyone but herself for more than 5 mins at a time.

Jayna and i met the kids at school and it was an extremely happy reunion for Nyla and Jayna - running towards each other, laughing and yelling... kinda scary too, seeing as how neither one are really super stable runners, but fantastic to watch. We played on the playground at school for a bit, and Jayna once again was being cared for immediately by some older girls from Ethan's class. Then, (as part of her introduction to a rollercoaster loving family) Jayna was training on the tire swing - its still a little sketchy for her, with the nervous laugh and tense limbs, but she's getting the hang of it. Her first time feeling dizzy was after Ethan had finished running around her about 10 times(imagine that!?), and she didn't enjoy that at all. So the tire swing is a great step!

Then it was off the the pet store. What a blast that was! Nyla would build a home there if she could, and Ethan likes seeing all the fish and reptiles... Jayna hasn't reacted well to pets of any sort so far. I thought a layer of glass in between would help... she couldn't stop giggling when she saw the little puppies who couldn't reach her! Then a little hamster on a wheel, then all kinds of birds and rabbits... "what kind of crazy place is this?!" She wasn't sure about the fish area, but watching Ethan and Nyla wander in eventually drew her in... but it wasn't long before she was saying  "puppies" and working her way back to those silly furry barking things.

A "quick" visit to home depot (Nyla and Jayna sitting in the Race Cart), Jayna tried her first lithium ion drill, and liked it. I was about to buy her one, but though i better hold off. Its important for my kids to never be afraid of the hardware store... yeah, i was just making sure my kids are well balanced individuals... thats all.

I must say, at this point i was expecting some kind of mutiny. We were obviously killing time, not really doing anything, but they were handling it well, so we needed to go to McDonalds. Not the play-park one,  though - most of my being has to hold back the gag reflex watching my kids play in those germ infested urine traps - i am crazy, but not insane, we would be dining in a "normal" fast food dive. We enjoyed a lovely high cal meal together and had some great conversation. Jayna is definitely comfortable just yapping in toddler/english/creole dialect. Ethan and Nyla try to get her to say funny words until its not funny at all... I had a moment to just watch my kids eating, talking and laughing together and it was pure joy.

On our way home, Jayna said her first "on her own" sentence: "Ethan, can you open this for me, please?" i almost hit the ditch... yeah, she's gunna be ok with language... We watch her learn new words, try new tastes, open herself up to allow us into her uniqueness, and we are in awe that God would invite us into life with our kids. I think too many times that i ignore the beauty and joy that God puts in front of us because we are too busy looking at the all that isn't "perfect". It becomes more and more clear to me that God's love for me is not because of my potential, but in me, his kid, just in this moment - he stares at me and is reminded of how good his creation really is. I hope that i can in some way be this kind of dad from time to time - that my love will bring out their real strength and beauty.

Some recent pictures...

grace and peace
jake and amanda

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!!

The past couple days have been more interesting than usual... Jayna has reached a point where, as Amanda puts it, "trusts us enough" to throw a few extra tantrums and test her boundaries. Yes, we have a 2 year old! For those of you who don't have that experience yet... much joy awaits you! It really isn't that bad, but i can deal with a child crying because they're hurt, or angry, or sad, but the "cry just because you want to make a loud noise" is like chewing on foil whilst rubbing styrofoam - hence, the eye twitch.

Jayna truly has been such a joy to our whole family, and today, instead of tantrums, she was talking like crazy! We couldn't understand a word she said, but she was pointing and explaining a story about Ethan and Nyla for about 5 minutes... her cute little accent and random finger pointing was awesome to watch, and, as my father would do, i just nodded and agreed. She also is picking up a lot of real words like please, thank you, potty, all done, more... and even uses the "baby signs" for most words. Its amazing how great it feels to actually begin to understand each other! I almost forgot "coffee" immediately followed by "yum", which is my fave.

Amanda has sorted out the best way to get her to go to bed easily, and for the last couple nights, she's gone down without any explosions - which is good for my eye twitch, too! My wife is amazing. I know, you all know this, but everyday i watch her care for her kids and i am amazed that i get to be in on this adventure with her. She is able to do some lifting and its incredible to watch her hold Jayna in her arms... blessed.

Ethan, Nyla and Jayna played in puddles after school today and watching them all together was great! the sun shining, sipping a latte and playing with my family... heaven was very close today.

grace and peace
jake and amanda

We are running into our third week together as a family of 5. It has been so good! Amanda is still having to take it easy, but recovering well - you can keep praying for her... its pretty tough for her to not pick up her kids and squeeze them... 

Ethan and Nyla are having a great time playing with Jayna. We are discovering that she loves to join in massive tickle fights, and laughs like crazy. Is so much fun watching her try and see new things. On the other hand, the language issue seems to be more prevalent, and Jayna isn't real chatty, she will only say something when she's good a ready to. So, we really have all the unknowns of having a newborn, and the chaos of a two year old. All that said, everyday we learn and grow together and its awesome.  

Approaching 2 Weeks...

Its hard to believe that a couple weeks have already passed since we were on our way to Ottawa to pick up Jayna. Then, everything was very intense and our thoughts were focussed. We were determined to make this thing happen! Now, thoughts that occupy our minds are more about how we are going to get Jayna to eat vegetables and how are do we communicate with her in productive ways... (the ol' "Just talk louder until they nod in agreement" thing just isn't useful here.)

Everyday, we see Jayna adapt and become more at home here. We also see Ethan and Nyla grow to understand her more and are so excited to watch them care for her in their own ways. Its been a complete change in our family, and we are trying to make sure they don't get lost in the shuffle, especially when Amanda is recovering, and just can't play with them like she usually does.

Jayna is still sleeping in our room - and slowly learning that bedtime doesn't make us disappear - she's either not a morning person, OR is angry at us every morning for a while, but we don't take it personally. New situations are less scary for her, though we still are taking lots of time before we get her into bigger crowds with people who can't resist touching her.

Everyday we find out new ways in which she is as goofy as the rest of us, and its so much fun. she's got a very well rounded sense of humour, especially for a 2 yr old, and can get us all laughing with her crazy faces and seemingly perfect comedic timing. So much fun.

grace and peace,
jake and amanda

One week ago...

Tomorrow will the one week-a-versary of jayna's arrival in canada and into our home. We're struck with the sense that holy cow! We finally have her home! And also the feeling within our family that she's always been here. She has her place here... And we are seeing her become more and more relaxed. Her goofy and mischievous side has emerged - and one day you'll get to see her "bill cosby" surprised face that cracks us up everytime.

The language barrier isn't too intrusive yet, though it sure would be nice to chat with her, since saying "no" to those giant brown heart melting eyes is quite difficult. "no, you can't stab daddy in the eye with your fork... Ok, just one more time..."

It feels as though she may be getting home-sick a little, so things St not be quite as smooth in the next bit, but who's used to smooth? Having her sleeping in our room has been good, but its definitely time for me to get building the bunk bed for her and nyla. I apparently am still a light sleeper, and paying for it... Good thing Amandas dad grabbed another 5lb bag of espresso from Brian...

Sorry it has taken so long to update the blog, it seems like the only time we're sitting is bed-time and we both kinda drop. Many more interesting stories and pics to follow!
We appreciate your prayers for us as we make sure we're making good decisions parenting our kids and making sure the rest of life is taken care of too!

We're blessed to be surrounded by great people like you!

Grace and peace.
Jake and Amanda
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1st Day at home...

We have another terrific sleeper... so far!

Over the last 24ish hours, we have begun to earn Jayna's trust. What we experienced on the first night with her has repeated itself over a few times. Her stoneface appeared once again on the flight home - we were giggling with her and having a good ol' time on the plane, but as soon as the wheels touched down, she immediately went stonefaced again, probably remembering that as the thing that happened just before Lily (the one who escorted her from Haiti) had to leave. It crushes your heart a bit to see a little heart already becoming so calloused, but that kinda fuels us to prove to her that we aren't just another adult in her life who she has to leave behind. Her stoneface didn't leave until we were almost 1/2 way to Medicine Hat, when amanda's mom was paying peek-a-boo with her and cracked the smile. Jayna literally goes from looking like a disgruntled youth to a 2 year old... and the whole room lights up with her smiles and belly laugh.

Once we got home, we started getting her ready for bed and Ethan and Nyla were able to interact with her a little more... really, they just wanna tickle her. i don't blame them, its quick, easy and gets some pleasing results, however, they received the troubled youth glare as they tried to steal a giggle from her, and that all ended quickly. Stoneface emerged again, from playing and giggling with her before bed to setting her down in the pack and play, she went numb... not even willing to look at either of us, and simply just being angry, and kinda heart-broken - "i thought you loved me" was the kind of energy that filled that little crib... not willing to lose this battle for her trust, Amanda and i took our places at either side of her and didn't leave until she fell asleep... we were tired. Amanda was especially cooked and still hadn't really been able to rest since her surgery.

This morning was great to be able to simply rest and get our heads around this whole ordeal - over a latte. mmmmm. anyways, Jayna was ready to put on the boots and walk the kids to school with me, but we thought it best for her to skip the -20c days for a week or so. Today was a great time for her and amanda to hang out. Some great bonding has happened - she's sharing some food with Amanda and I, she began learning some english words like"boot", and we didn't see stoneface much. She got a little sketchy at the Dr.'s office, but turned to hug me instead of just going blank, and as the day went, very few situations seemed to get her rattled. She loved the bathtub, and a tiny purse from her cousin was also a big hit. She is a lot like ethan, enjoying to organize things, like taking all the darts out of his nerf machine gun and then replacing them and doing it all over again. when she was done, she put the gun right back in its place... (no, we're not running some kind of child soldier camp). She doesn't like to have crumbs on her pants, and she is very independent. Tonight she allowed me to put her pajama pants on, but was bound and determined to put her own shirt on... it was a good try.

It seems as though we received a 6 month old on Wednesday night and each 6 hours, she has aged another few months... today we saw an 18 month old child and she's steadly "growing" with us. what a crazy journey this is... like a beautiful walk through an unknown forest - so new, a little scary and very very cool. each moment we see something new - a new word, expression, gesture and emotion - and its fantastic.

Today tapped her out... she was on the edge of meltdown around 6pm - a little too much going on today, we're planning to lay low tomorrow, for everyones sake.

FYI - our plan is to help her learn that amanda and i are hers. She gets food only from our hands. She gets hugs and kisses only from us. She gets picked up only by us. This first month at least is so critical for this bond to be established that WE ARE HER PARENTS. so if you see us together, by all means, come and say hi, but do not be offended if you don't get to hold her or feed her... its not you, its us. We have been battling for her life for the last few years and now we actually have to step up our efforts to make this a lasting bond.

Jayna has been well taken care of in her orphanage - loved obviously and nurtured - the development of our relationship has revealed that this was not a factory style orphanage, where kids get a place to stay only - Reach out to Haiti is a fantastic organization that truly cares about people. if you are looking to give financial support to an organization working on the ground in Haiti within its community - this is one of them.

Grace and Peace.
jake and amanda

Brown, beautiful and ours!

Just a quick update... We went to the Canadian Reception Center last night @ 1030pm and the flight was on time. Jayna was paired with a volunteer attendant from air transat who went with her the whole way... So awesome to talk with her about some things she learned during their flight from Haiti... What food jayna liked, some of her personality, and just knowing there was someone who really cared about jayna was good to know. What a blessing!

Jayna was kinda stonefaced for the first 45mins with Amanda, then had a short cry and started eating mum-mums. Immigration had a pretty good set up for processing all the kids from temporary citizenship to medical checks. An incredible team of volunteers and paramedics literally carried us through the process. Thank you - Fiona, Lily, Ben and Erin and all the others who made the crazy evening a real joy and celebration. We were blessed by your care and attention!

After all that, we went back to the hotel and started "our life" with jayna. She realy wasn't too excited to do much else but watch the crazy talking white people... But after a while, we go her laughing. Really, this was the real bonding moment for jayna and I. And what a beautiful smile and laugh! Yikes! She's really ticklish, once she warms up to ya... She'll fit right in with our other crazy kids. She's so much fun and a total goof, just like Amanda...

Jayna and Amanda shared a bed and she slept so well, Amanda was on mom sleep, waking with every movement, so if she woke up she wouldn't be really freaked out. I slept great, and having set my phone alarm for 550 Alberta time... :P , but jayna woke up at 645 and we hustled into our first full day together. Jayna went into stoneface mode again once we got into the taxi, and until we were sitting at the WJ gate, she didn't show any expression. But we got her laughing again and she seemed to be pointing at something on the tarmac and saying something... My toddler ceole is pretty sketchy... But she spoke!!

The fantastic people at westjet decided to cover our flight to calgary, and coupled with the fact that they're brewing a coffee double strength for me makes them the very best company in the world. Ok, one of the goodest. They have made the whole process very easy, and fun!

We are arriving in calgary after lunch and so looking forward to finally going home and just being home.

In the last week, we have experienced so many highs and lows, and we are so blessed to walk this journey in God's hands and take every step with friends and family like you! Thank you for loving and serving us in so many ways.

Jayna fell asleep on the flight to TO and is still sleeping, we are blessed with another very sound sleeper. Dang, she is so pretty just sleeping. God is good.

Grace and peace!!!
Jake and Amanda
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Family of 5!!!

She's here! Lotsa checkups and paperwork to go through. Can't email now.

Grace and peace
Jake and Amanda and jayna
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Is it really today?!

Sitting on the westjet flight to ottawa (thanks Jenni and Keith!) writing this update. Its so wierd to think that my little girl is flying to the same city to meet us! What a journey this has been...

From having the discussion with Amanda about possibly having another kid and then proposing adopting to her... Thinking that it was a nice idea, but never would Amanda go for it... All the pre paperwork and fees and emails and phoning and changing orphanages and crying and wondering if we have completely lost our minds... Finally seeing the beautiful picture of Edmara Gilles on the proposal document and praying for her... Feeling sad for her losing her mom and trying to fathom the horrible decision her father had to make to give her up for her good his other kids.

Then spending those days in Haiti, saddened by the state of this beautiful country and its people. Feeling so helpless and knowing that there is so much that needs to be done... What a week that was... It truly broke my heart and made me fall in love with Haiti. Seeing how things work in Haiti has helped us keep our heads straight through the rest of the adoption... It ain't Canada, things happen when they happen...

I also remember talking with Kerry and Mandy and Jana on the trip about needing to never forget this experience... Getting "the tattoo" as a visual reminder of the importance of serving the oppressed and giving our lives to making a difference in others lives. For me, this adoption began as the answer to my own prayer to know more of who God is and what he truly cares about. True religion... Helping widows, orphans, foreigners, the oppressed. In the last few years I have discovered that Gods plan and hopes for us is not that we would have nicer churches with bigger attendance, but that we, his creation would care enough about our neighbours all around us to live generously, graciously and hopefully in anticipation of his kingdom returning to earth... The kingdom where the last are first, the broken are healed, the hungry are fed and the lonely are loved. This excites me to be part of his work on earth... And sitting here thinking that though this all started with an idea of doing something for someone else, its crazy how God realy has shaped our hearts and broadened our understanding of his love for us and burned an intense love for a little girl that lived her whole life so far... A couple thousand miles away. It is so amazing to me how gracious God is in letting people like us be part of his bigger plans. I am struck with my own insignificance and yet so grateful that God doesn't wait for perfection to use us... He's using us right here and right now. Its brilliant!

So, maybe I have had too much time on a flight with no sleep, but there's what runs through my brain as we prepare to land and get ready to meet our little girl. Its been so long, and yet we are so not prepared for this... But, God's got us, and will continue to carry us through this next part of the journey.

Sorry for the rambling... Thank you for your love and support in all this. We are blessed.

Grace and peace.
Jake and Amanda
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the night before christmas...

ok. this is the real deal. not exactly the way we ever thought it would be... amanda is sleeping in the foothills hospital, i am at my sisters getting baby stuff ready and trying to be prepared for a kid that i have no idea of her size or weight... and really, it still doesn't seem really real yet. are we gunna fly there and be told they forgot her or something? stranger things have happened... but in the middle of this all, i am getting excited to see her pretty little face and try get her to smile for us...

right now, she's having a huge sleepover with a bunch of other orphans in the canadian embassy and then tomorrow she gets ready to board the plane around 11am and then arrives in ottawa at 10:30pm... we board our plane from calgary @ 10:30am and arrive @ 4:30pm in ottawa, go crazy waiting (we should be much better at it by now) and then wet our pants when we see her arrive and then scare her with hugs and kisses and strange food and toys. we "sleep" in ottawa and then depart for calgary to arrive after lunch. then, it gets crazy-er. we have another little girl! we don't know what to do with her hair! (i say afro all day long, but amanda's not as keen)

so if you could keep praying for us, for health for amanda and jayna especially and clear head and an extrodinary understanding of what to do in each moment, that would be swell. the surgen that did the appendectomy said that it had actually ruptured and its amazing that she's recovering as quickly as she is... thankfully it wasn't any longer... yikes. God has our back. thank you for working with him in caring for us in so many ways... its gunna be an interesting journey.

grace and peace
jake and amanda

One step forward!

Jayna is @ the Canadian embassy in Haiti getting ready to fly out tomorrow. Amanda is recovering well and should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow morning.

Keep praying!

Grace and peace
Jake and Amanda
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Things lining up...

So, Amanda is starting to feel better, but continue to pray for her speedy recovery - if she develops a fever or something like that, they may not release her in time... YIKES. You may as well also just cut out her heart while your at it, too.

The plans seem to be falling into place for Jayna's arrival - they are bringing her to the Canadian embassy in the morning, and then on wednesday she takes the longest, scariest trip of her life. Continued prayer for her safety and care... we have had to battle for this kid for a long time, and it doesn't seem to be getting easier!!

grace and peace
jake and amanda

Another glitch... awesome!

So, in an effort to keep the blog interesting, Amanda's Dr. at Foothills has said that because her appendix had begun to "leak", they need to have her on antibiotics and she should be in for a few more days. (BTW: thanks Dr. _____ from MHR ER for dismissing her "intense lower right abdomen pain" as a ruptured cyst because you didn't wanna take that little extra step to be sure - it's only a small judgement error, no biggy) They know that she needs to be prepared to fly on wednesday possibly, and will work as hard as possible to get her up and out of there asap. (prayer request - quick healing!?!)

I will be making some calls today to sort out how close we are to getting jayna on the next plane from Haiti.

So, prayer for Jayna's health and safety as well and great communication between the embassy and orphanage in the next couple days would be appreciated. Again, prayer for Amanda's body to heal quickly and the clearance to fly would be super. Clear heads and good rest in the next couple days would be great too.

grace and peace
jake and amanda